How to Keep Your Under Carriage Fresh While Traveling
Imagine you’re flying to Hawaii with your special someone. You’re leaving from New York City on a nonstop flight that’s expected to take about 11.5 hours. You couldn’t be more excited to take on the Aloha State in style, especially with your partner in tow. You hop on the plane incredibly excited, find your seat, and get ready to zone out for the next several hours until your plane gets nearer to its destination.
But then something terrible happens. Twenty minutes later, you start noticing that you’re sweating in your netherregions. Not only do you start to get incredibly uncomfortable, but you also begin wondering how your troopers will hold up for the duration of the flight.
Panic sets in. Is it possible that your sweaty balls might get too noxious—to the point where your romantic getaway is completely derailed?
At this point, you start telling yourself that you’re still going to get lei’d in Hawaii—just maybe not in the way you expected.
Conquering sweaty balls on a flight
Anyone who's traveled knows how unpleasant things can get when sitting still for hours on end. It's not a pleasant experience.
Depending on how bad it gets, swamp ass can rear its ugly head, creating a hot, sticky, sweaty mess that’s ready to crush the nostrils of anyone who dares come near it—and turn your scrotum, thighs, and grundle area into a full-blown battle zone.
To help you avoid experiencing this nightmare in real life, we’ve teamed up with our friends at Ballsy to serve up five tasty tips that’ll help you keep your nuts fresh while traveling.
1. Wash your balls—and dry them off thoroughly
The easiest way to keep your balls clean is by washing them before flying. Truth be told, this is something you should do every day, but to each his own.
Washing your jewels is only half the battle. You need to make sure to dry them thoroughly, too, before heading to the airport.
Keep in mind, though, that this is a delicate balance. Dry your balls too much and your skin can start chafing to the point of irritation. Dry your balls too little and you’re already setting the table for a sweaty sack to emerge later on. The secret sauce is somewhere in the middle.
2. Pick a snug pair of underwear
Another way to keep your balls fresh during your flight is by choosing the perfect pair of underwear.
Everyone has a different idea as to what the “perfect pair” looks and feels like. In our opinion, the right pair will fit snugly, providing the support and comfort your boys need to feel protected and relaxed while you’re in the air.
Look for underwear that’s soft and has great moisture and odor absorption. A great pair for traveling will also be form-fitting.
Whatever you do, don’t just pull out any old pair of boxers from the bowels of your dresser. Pay attention to your underwear. Otherwise, your plums could very well take their anger out on you at the worst time.
3. Use a liquid powder like Ballguard
Showering, drying your nuts, and choosing the right pair of underwear is about half the battle. Sometimes that’s enough to emerge victoriously. But not always.
In some cases, you might need a performance-enhancing solution, like Ballguard Liquid Powder. Ballguard is a soothing cream that dries instantly as a mess-free powder to help keep your coin purse sweat- and smell-free.
It’ll fit nicely into your budget, too. A 3.4-ounce tube of Ballguard costs $12. If you really want to be nice to your boys, consider opting for a subscription. You’ll save 16.67%, get free shipping, and can cancel at any time.
4. Dress comfortably on your flight
Put too many layers on before your flight at your own risk.
The fewer clothes you have on, the less likely you are to get too warm mid-flight—which puts you on the precipice of a showdown with nut sweat you don’t want to encounter.
So, no matter where you’re going, you might want to err on the side of showing more skin. A pair of gym shorts, for example, might make you a bit colder on the plane. But your boys will stay dry. And you can always ask the flight attendant for a blanket to keep warm.
5. Think twice about deep manscaping
A recent Men’s Health survey found that more than half of the magazine’s readers keep their junk cleaned by manscaping on a regular basis. Whatever floats your boat.
If you’re the kind of guy who is a vociferous manscaper, you might want to think twice about shaving down there before your next flight (trimming is probably OK).
When you shave, you might end up cutting yourself, getting ingrown hairs, or coming down with a case of folliculitis. That’s the recipe for a polluted scrotum—which makes for an awful flight and a potentially devastating vacation experience.
So, either take care of your manscaping a week or two ahead of your flight, trim instead of shave, or embrace your natural self and let the weeds grow wild.
Prior to getting on your next flight, try some of these tips and help your balls travel in luxury. Better yet, use them all in conjunction and give them the royal treatment.
Here’s to keeping your beanbag fresh wherever your travels take you!
Bonus Tip: Pack a few Quicky Wipes
Unfortunately, when you’re traveling, you might not always have access to a shower, which can put your nuts in jeopardy. This is where Quickys Ball & Body Wipes can be particularly helpful. Quicky wipes have refreshing aloe and cucumber scents, are textured for dirt removal and don’t contain any alcohol or parabens. You can use Quickys wipes wherever you find yourself—giving you the peace of mind that comes with knowing no matter how sweaty it gets down there, fresh balls are always within reach.
BY: KYLE MALTZ, COO & PARTNER
Kyle's an adventure loving Seattleite who's busy skiing or traveling the world when he's not helping DFC move mountains. His favorite trips have been to Thailand, Turks and Caicos, and Costa Rica. Kyle stays busy connecting us with some of the best brands in the world and working on new ways for DFC to be the best in the business for helping travelers explore more and pay less.
Kyle oversees all things partnerships and business development for Dollar Flight Club.